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| Today In History |
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| Quote Of The Day |
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| Change Of Address. |
| Tuesday, August 30, 2005 |
Well I am out of blogspot for right now since I am fed up with the inability to edit what I want to edit so poof be gone. The new address for This site is http://fbhp.codenext.net/wordpress/ So to keep reading my stupid shit go there . Oh and the other black hole affiliates are still closed till further notice. Till then
Wired Wizard
You just can't run from trouble ain't no place that far. |
posted by Wired Wizard @ 9:23 PM   |
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| Band Of the week |
| Thursday, August 25, 2005 |
Retrospective 2
 Link
As it should come to no surprise to anyone by now I am a huge Heavy Metal fan and have been since the tender age of 12 or so. It started with bands like Journey and J.Giles band ect ect and then graduated to
AC-DC, Motley Crue and the like. Then something amazing happened.
While I was in Military school ( yeah I was a pretty fucked up kid to deserve Military School) a friend of mine named Thomas Monroe was reciting the lyrics to a song called the Trooper. I had no idea that this would be the foundation to something really heavy.
I can still remember him singing the lyrics " you take my life but I'll take yours too you fire a musket but I'll run you through" pretty powerful shit. And when he told me that it was a song based in the First world war I was hooked ( I happen to be a huge history buff as well) So when I had gathered enough cash I went out and bought my first Iron Maiden Album yes it was on vinyl most people under the age of 20 won't know what the hell that it but it is the precursor to CD's and cassette tapes oh just forget it it was a non recordable storage medium you fucking morons.
Anyway as the the tracks rolled on and I read the lyrics I was becoming a changed person in terms of my musical tastes. From then on if it wasn't heavy it wasn't music.
As I look back on these events it makes me smile as I sit here and listen to Iron Maiden's Power Slave and can remember the first time that I put it on my record player ahhh the memories. I still like my music heavy and fast and loud but I have slowed down a bit just a notch or too but it's always nice to remember the origins of things as I get older.
Wired Wizard.
Up The Irons. |
| posted by Wired Wizard @ 6:16 PM |
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Origin Of the Species
Obviously I wasn't born Wired Wizard although it would have been cool if my mom had some orginality when she named me. I am sure my kid will say the same thing when he gets older. Trust me not to many hispanics or white folk can get away with naming their kids off the wall shit without being look at as an idiot. But thats not what this post is about. No not at all it is about my Guilty Pleasures which there are a few to name but here is a listing of a my top 5 or so.
1. Heavy Metal Music: and no not this Nu Metal crap that includes band like Slipknot or Mudvayne not that I have anything against it mind you but I am talking old school shit.
Bands such as Exodus, Death Angel, Megadeth, Metallica( before they sold out) ect ect the kind of Music that would get a person thrown out of the fucking house not like the wimpy comercially available radio airplay shit you get now a days. Yeah when was the last time you heard a classic like Slayers Hell Awaits played on your local rock station ?
2. Violent Movies: There isn't quite anything like A clock Work Orange a little bit of the Ultra Violence. Although there are move violent movies but man Clock work was a masterpeice for its time.
other personal favorites are The Boondock Saints , Depserado , Evil Dead , Dead Alive, Predator I &II and anything gory like Hellraiser .
3. Violent Video Games: GTA nuff said. Tekken, Mortal Kombat , Def Jam Fight for NY anything where I can kill and blow shit up . Fuck You Jack Thompson you egotistical self righteous peice of shit.
4. 80's Music espeially new wave hell I grew up in the decade of decadence so I have a special place in my heart for it.
5. Stephen King and Clive Barker books ( also see movies)
6. Bob Ross. If you don't know who this guy is look him up probably one of the most relaxing tv shows ever the guy will quite possibly put you into a coma he is so soft spoken and shit. Check it out you will see what I mean.
7. Mustangs. I have owned 2 so far and love the car I want a 65 fast back and a new 2005 GT someone wanna spot me the cash for both trust me I am good for it.
8. Fucking with people. I do this as often as possible and the easier a person is to fuck with the more I do it.
9. Watching Pro Wrestling. Yeah you might think the shit is fake keep thinking that fucker lets see how fake it is when I pile drive your ass into the mat or suplex you on to a table then tell me its fake. Trust me I know a few independant pro wrestlers they will tell you differntly.
10. Marlbor Lights 100's . Yeah I know pretty soon you won't be able to smoke in your own house in a closet with the lights out and a vacume to suck up the smoke, and I know it's bad for my health and I know the risks invovled but hey at least its not crack right.
Well thas about it for now I am kinda tired and need som sort of sleep before I start drooling on my keys so its off to never never land for me NO not fucking Neverland Ranch you fucking sickos. Jeebus you people are discgusting sometimes you know well I am outta here you fucking weirdos.
Wired Wizard
Poof Bitch Be Gone. |
| posted by Wired Wizard @ 2:32 AM |
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| Sunday, August 21, 2005 |
Do You Fucking Mind?
Now if there is one thing I hate it is having to take a piss in a public restroom. Now mind you it is not a question of being embarrassed or anything like that I just hate taking a piss in a place where you feel like your in public display. Hell it would be easier to take a piss out in the bushes in front of my house or something than in one of those damn urinals. As it is I probably have the worst aim in the male history of pissing. For some reason no matter where I aim my dick likes to piss in the opposite direction what can I say it has a mind of its own.
And pissing in public chances are someone is going to get a golden shower if they are standing in the piss stop next to me. I try to get the stalls just trying to be courteous as possible but when ya gotta go you gotta go. So I pitty the poor bastard that has to be next to me.
What is worse is when your neighbor wants to start a conversion with you while your trying to take care of business.
I can care less if your late for work or if you wife is cheating on you I am here to take a piss and get out of here as soon as I can I don't want to hear you life story while I have my fuckstick in my hand. Case in point.
A few years ago at the local mall I had the indignity of having to piss in the public bathroom if it wasn't bad enough the urinals had no dividers ok no problem I will just grab the furthest pisser at the end of the rest room.
So there I am unloading 4, 2 liters of Pepsi in the pisser and feeling pretty good you know that good pee feeling you get when you have been holding it for way to long, well as my luck would have it some dude wanted to stand right next to me while I am taking a piss when there are like 10 other piss pots to occupy no he has to park himself right next to me. I figured no biggie everyone's gotta go but when he started to yap away I was like why god why did you have to put this fuckbag right next to me while I am having such a good piss right now??
well within the 1minute I was pissin this guy is bitching about his wife and how she is not putting out and that his lady on the side wants him to leave his wife blah blah blah I couldn't take it anymore. I cut off the stream of piss knowing the pain that would follow and aimed it right at his hip and unloaded on him . The guy jumped flinched and ended up pissing on himself just as I was finishing up I shook and zipped myself up walked to the sink nonchalantly washed my hands as this dude is sitting there screaming at me for pissing on him like he was a fire hydrant blah blah blah I just turned and looked at him and told him to let his wife know to have my underwear ironed with no starch and to make sure that my socks were bleached and that I would pick them up on my way home from fucking his sister and walked out. The look on the guys face was priceless. Hey Like I have always said fucking with me is not the best thing to do in the world since you will get it back 10 fold.
So in the future when your pissing in a public restroom and the urinals have no dividers be warned try not to strike up any conversations with your neighbor chances are good your going to get a nice surprise.
Wired Wizard.
I never put the seat down I like to hear the sploosh sound when someone forgets to check and sits on the bowl. |
| posted by Wired Wizard @ 2:33 PM |
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| Yeah I am still here |
| Tuesday, August 16, 2005 |
Alive and Kickin
Ok ok you can smack me on the wrist I have been a bad bad Wizard so fucking what I did have something that resembled a life up untill today when I parted ways with my current employer. YEAH never thought it would feel so good. Well 3 stress attacks in a row is enough to make anyone fucking quit but I am tougher than that at least thats what I tell myself. But I won't be out of work for to long maybe a matter of a few days at most.
So this is a mini vacation with out pay of course.
So have you been following that whole hot coffee thing ? NO then what the hell are you doing go check out what our government is up to all in the name of what ever their fucking causes are.
I actually have a few good emails to post here in the next few days and other wonderful shit to add to your demoralization but thats for another day right now I gotta unfuck my computer since it has been acting up a lot.
Wizards Easy Computer Repair Guide.
1. Put on steel toed or other hard shoe.
2. Unplug computer and attached shit.
3. Place computer in driveway or middle of street.
4. walk back about 20 or 30 feet.
5. Take aim
6. Get a running start
7. PUNT THAT MUTHA FUCKA
8. Plug back in and enjoy error free computing or buy new componets and or pc.
Wired Wizard.
What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing the bitch has been told twice |
| posted by Wired Wizard @ 4:00 PM |
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