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| Sunday, August 21, 2005 |
Do You Fucking Mind?
Now if there is one thing I hate it is having to take a piss in a public restroom. Now mind you it is not a question of being embarrassed or anything like that I just hate taking a piss in a place where you feel like your in public display. Hell it would be easier to take a piss out in the bushes in front of my house or something than in one of those damn urinals. As it is I probably have the worst aim in the male history of pissing. For some reason no matter where I aim my dick likes to piss in the opposite direction what can I say it has a mind of its own.
And pissing in public chances are someone is going to get a golden shower if they are standing in the piss stop next to me. I try to get the stalls just trying to be courteous as possible but when ya gotta go you gotta go. So I pitty the poor bastard that has to be next to me.
What is worse is when your neighbor wants to start a conversion with you while your trying to take care of business.
I can care less if your late for work or if you wife is cheating on you I am here to take a piss and get out of here as soon as I can I don't want to hear you life story while I have my fuckstick in my hand. Case in point.
A few years ago at the local mall I had the indignity of having to piss in the public bathroom if it wasn't bad enough the urinals had no dividers ok no problem I will just grab the furthest pisser at the end of the rest room.
So there I am unloading 4, 2 liters of Pepsi in the pisser and feeling pretty good you know that good pee feeling you get when you have been holding it for way to long, well as my luck would have it some dude wanted to stand right next to me while I am taking a piss when there are like 10 other piss pots to occupy no he has to park himself right next to me. I figured no biggie everyone's gotta go but when he started to yap away I was like why god why did you have to put this fuckbag right next to me while I am having such a good piss right now??
well within the 1minute I was pissin this guy is bitching about his wife and how she is not putting out and that his lady on the side wants him to leave his wife blah blah blah I couldn't take it anymore. I cut off the stream of piss knowing the pain that would follow and aimed it right at his hip and unloaded on him . The guy jumped flinched and ended up pissing on himself just as I was finishing up I shook and zipped myself up walked to the sink nonchalantly washed my hands as this dude is sitting there screaming at me for pissing on him like he was a fire hydrant blah blah blah I just turned and looked at him and told him to let his wife know to have my underwear ironed with no starch and to make sure that my socks were bleached and that I would pick them up on my way home from fucking his sister and walked out. The look on the guys face was priceless. Hey Like I have always said fucking with me is not the best thing to do in the world since you will get it back 10 fold.
So in the future when your pissing in a public restroom and the urinals have no dividers be warned try not to strike up any conversations with your neighbor chances are good your going to get a nice surprise.
Wired Wizard.
I never put the seat down I like to hear the sploosh sound when someone forgets to check and sits on the bowl. |
posted by Wired Wizard @ 2:33 PM   |
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| 1 Comments: |
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Your dick has the mind of its own? Oh really? Who doesn't?
You made a smile on my face again!
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" 
Your dick has the mind of its own? Oh really? Who doesn't?
You made a smile on my face again!