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| Memory Lane Flashback |
| Sunday, June 26, 2005 |
Trippin down Memory Lane
Well last night ( Saturday the 25 of June) I got so see some people that I hadn't seen in well over 12 years. It was good seeing them once again.
My Buddy Mike King who is the Drumming God
Brad Parker The guitar mastermind
and Brett McCoy All around nice guy :)
Of course my bro Johnny and his GF were in attendance as were Paulie and his significant other. All in all a very cool night. I have to keep in mind to keep in touch with these people since they were the ones that made going to Highschool just a bit more bearable. My God its been at least ummm yeah its been a fucking while since I was in H.S. its good to see that they haven't changed much either.
As for posts I make no excuses I am a lazy bastard so there.
All other black hole sites will be left without updates till further notice but the FBHP will continue it's sporadic posting as always.
Wired Wizard.
I'd slap ya but shit splatters. |
posted by Wired Wizard @ 6:18 PM   |
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| Tuesday, June 14, 2005 |
Ahh Fuck you Bitch
I didn't really have anything to post but I just thought this picture was funny as hell and just had to share it with all 3 oh excuse me 4 of you ( thanks Troy)
I haven't seen Immortal Lazy Man this past week and that douche rag is supposed to be doing his part here on the site but has been AWOL. Well at least he is living up to his name right??
Well that's all I really have to say for today at least I think that's it...... Let me think for a moment............ Nope just a fart guess I was right that was all for today. So till next time Same Black hole Time Same Black hole URL.
Wired Wizard.
You rode the short bus to school didn't you ? |
| posted by Wired Wizard @ 8:29 PM |
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| Worthless Useless Good For nothing....... |
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Michael Jackson's Van
First and foremost how the hell did Michael get off the hook this time? I just don't understand our justice system. I am willing to bet you that if it was Joe Schmoe from Cocomo that didn't have a dime to his name and was just accused he would be rotting in a jail cell somewhere. But the old saying is true money talks and bullshit walks.
Can you imagine MJ's life if he would have ended up behind bars? The King of Pop would be the king of sucking cock because he would end up being everyone's bitch in there. Hell he is already half a woman. He is the only person I know of that went from being a poor black man to being a rich white woman. Only in America.
In other news........
I know the posts have been sporadic at best and I make no excuses for my actions other than the fact that when I get home the only thing that I want to do is sit down and watch TV or play some GTA SA for a while. The urge to post anything is just way too much work for my tiny brain to handle. Time is not one of my friends right now. That whole getting up at 6 am is getting to me. Not used to that kind of shit. Hell I had forgotten what 6 am looked like and believe me I wish I could forget. WHY CAN'T I WIN THE FUCKING LOTTERY??? That would be so damn sweet. Hey I would be happy with like 20 million or so heck 4 million would be good too I am not that greedy.
Of course the first thing I would do would be to buy a nice 40 foot yacht and do some sailing for a while. Now mind you I would probably end up having to live on the thing for the rest of my life since those damn things are expensive as hell, might have to scale down the size some. Anyway I would probably move to Miami in a ritzy neighborhood and put a nice double wide trailer on the property. Damn I am such white trash. But I would spend the day on my yacht fishing and drinking and then head to key west so I could watch the sun go down. Trust me if you haven't seen that it's worth it and quite an event down there. Then I would sit in my hot tub for a while looking at the stars before I went to bed thinking to myself ahhh this is the fucking life. But no I have to work for a living for practically peanuts and have bills coming out of my ears. Why couldn't I have been born into a rich family.
Back to my fantasy, Of course all my friends would be invited to partake in the good times. I couldn't ever leave them out hell with out them I don't think I could function let alone have a normal life. But all my buddies would be on the yacht with me chilling drinking grilling tuna steaks and playing video games and those who don't play video games would be thrown over the side in the middle of the night while they slept. Bunch of grab asses.
Well that's my dream kinda simple in a way but hey at least I have one and that's what matters. Of course I would do more than that with my riches of course but it's not important really.
Regular posting should resume here shortly since I am starting to get used to this whole work thing so it's not that bad anymore. But this week I think I will piss away for the sake of it.
Wired Wizard.
Your little princess is my whore. |
| posted by Wired Wizard @ 8:08 PM |
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| No major posts this week. |
| Monday, June 06, 2005 |
Down Ya go fucker
Well seeing how I had to go and find a real job ( apparently taking care of my son while my gf works isn't a real job) anyway today was the first day of WORK and the little free time that I will have now I want to come home and beat the little woman beat the dog beat the kid and then kick back and watch TV like our fucking Forefathers had intended....................... Wait a minute that's the redneck forefathers damn who put that on my to do list????? Anyway I actually have a shit load of reading to do and learning so for this week the posting will be minimal. Sorry for all 3 of my readers that hang on my ever fucking word but this week I gotta do what I gotta do you will just have to wait for the weekend to find something remotely humorous on this site. Or any of the related sites as well. Have a great week
Wired Wizard.
Hey what does this red button do???? |
| posted by Wired Wizard @ 8:36 PM |
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| Props |
| Friday, June 03, 2005 |
Upcoming Changes
First I want to give out Props to current contributors Kari, Hanna, and Carl from over at Sunshine Blasters for sending in jokes for the cut and paste segments here at FBHP but in the near future there are going to be 2 new additions as well.
First my buddy ImmortalLazyman who will be helping me here on the main site and FBHP Games and possibly Black Hole Music.
Second will be Sara McKenzie Devlin who will be helping out on FBHP Wrestling. She is also a professional wrestler and has a lot of insight and info that I can't possibly get myself. So keep checking back for all the shit that you have came to expect and some that you might not have.
Wired Wizard.
Will Code HTML for food. |
| posted by Wired Wizard @ 2:24 PM |
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| SSDD |
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Well it's that time
Never fails. All day I do nothing but sit around the house and I hardly even look at my PC but of course at around 8pm I start doing stuff and then around 10 pm or so is when I decide to update FBHP and wouldn't you know it all this stupidity takes a while for me to write because by the time I am done doing one post and spell checking and of course all the fucking smoke breaks I take by the time all is said and done 3 hours have gone by. And by the time I am at my last post I am like the 2 cops above so with out further explanation I am going to slip into a nice coma for a while. Hope that I am now awoken by the phone cause it will fly right out the damn window if it fucking rings.
Wired Wizard
Mommie where is my teddy bear? |
| posted by Wired Wizard @ 3:36 AM |
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| Alternative Fules Please |
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Take it all bitch take it all
Are ya feeling the pain yet? All I know is that if we don't get some options and get them fast we are going to see gas prices soaring into the 4 dollar range and that's not a good thing. So call and pester you senator call your congressman call and complain lord knows I can't do it all by myself.
Wired Wizard.
Does that come with or with out vasaline? |
| posted by Wired Wizard @ 3:32 AM |
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| I always fell into the last catagory |
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easy reading
A picture says a thousand words so click on it for a larger view.
Wired Wizard
Im not as think as you drunk I am |
| posted by Wired Wizard @ 3:29 AM |
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| That will never work. |
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Lying Ho
You know guys for the most part are pretty simple creatures, hell most guys would be happy touching themselves while laying on a hot rock somewhere.
When you ask a guy what's on his mind and he says that nothing is on his mind chances are pretty good there isn't nothing going on inside that vacant coconut unless we are in a strip club.
Guys have basic needs
Sports
Sex
Beer
Cars
Sex
see pretty damn simple creatures like I said but guys simple does not have to equate stupid and some of the things that we guys say or have said while trying to impress or pick up a member of the opposite sex well to say that some one is pissing in our collective gene pool might be a damn good guess. Here are a few thing that you should under no circumstances say to a woman.
1. Hey baby nice legs what time do they open?
Chances are after hearing that the legs are going to say closed for you forever dumbass.
2. Baby your legs must be tired because you have been running through my mind.
ok not much better than the first one now is it? Go to the bathroom in shame and hang yourself Casanova.
3. Hey Bitch Wanna Fuck?
Strangely this might work if your name is P Diddy, 50 Cent , Tom Cruise , Gene Simmons , Vin Diesel or if she is a crack ho and you have a vial. But in general this is far to blunt. Go to bathroom stick head and toilet and flush every 30 seconds putz.
4.You must be a library book because I want to check you out.
Once again this is no way to make a first impression because after saying that your going to be checking her out all night as she goes home with someone else. Hide in dark corner and drink yourself into a coma.
5. Hey Baby what's your sign?
What the fuck is it 1972 again and someone not tell me? Did that work back then either? Someone let me know. Brace your self for enormous amount of laughter at you not with you. Go to another bar/Club try again if you strike out 2 more times your OUT.
6.Hey does God know that one of his angels is standing right in front of me ?
This might work with nerdy girls. Normal girls will promptly exit stage right. Drink some more then try again.
7.Girl you are the rise in my Levi's
Ok now when you get a slap in the face and a kick to the nuts don' t sit there and wonder why. Jerk off.
8. Come here often?
Especially don't say this in a strip club it's not funny you fucking comedian. In a club don't say it either because it makes you sound desperate and seem as if you don't get out of your parents basement to often.
9. I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!
chances are you going to either get a shot to the nuts or the ribs so you can feel what it's like to lose your breath you fool. Train your self to breath again leave bar/club in shame
10 If I were a squirrel I'd bust a nut in your hole."
after you finish picking up your teeth make dentist appointment.
11 You'll do.
And chances are you will be going home alone with a slap print on your face.
12 I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
see 11
13 Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
that once again might work with nerdy girls or homely ones. Or if your a pretty good looking dude it might work with a hot chick but lets face it that's just to cute that it is sickening. Don't try it.
14 do you use windex on your pants? Cuz I can see myself in them
Man if that doesn't say horny I don't know what will. And if the chick falls for it just remember to see you personal physician early Monday Morning chances are good that you got something that Bleach won't remove.
15 So, want to come back to my place for pizza and sex? No? Why you don't like pizza?
Ok Quasimodo did you think for a minute that would work nice try retreat to alley way somewhere hide among the winos.
16 Do you believe in love at first sight, or shall I walk by again?
this one is guaranteed to get you laughed out of whatever establishment your at. Just remember to keep walking
17 call me Fred flintstone cuz I'll make your bed rock
yeah that's gonna work Romeo. Get your ass back to the cave.
18. call me milk cuz I'll do your body good
I am just at a loss for words.
19. How do you like your eggs in the morning? scrambled or fertilized?
whoa what ever chance you had just got shot right out of the window with a rocket launcher. Return to car and drive to nearest pier don't stop till you feel your feet getting a bit wet.
20. If your body was a map of the world can u guess which continent I'd visit first
Australia cause its the land down under
Easy there Magellan your not going to be conquering new lands with that line trust me keep searching I would suggest the morgue.
Well mind you these lines are all dependent on a few factors
How ballsy you are and defiantly your looks some might actually work but a general rule of thumb your better off trying to be yourself ( that is unless your personality sucks) chances are just being normal will work 100 times better than some corny pick up line. But then again so does a shit load of cash.
Wired Wizard.
Why don't we get drunk and screw?
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| posted by Wired Wizard @ 2:29 AM |
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| Did you know Moses? |
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Fucking Old School
I have been dealing with computers going on 15 years this October dammit I am old. Anyway the first actual exposure I had to a PC was back in Brooklyn at my friend Jason's house. He was the only kid I knew with a PC. Of course back then everything was in DOS ( how many of you remember you DOS commands? A handful at best) anyway back then there was something called bulletin boards. This is before the internet was the internet. You would place your rotary phone on a the modem cradle and dial out. I was amazed and thought this was the greatest thing around but quickly lost interest in them when my mom wouldn't fork out the cash to buy me my own PC.
A few years went by and then I was re-introduced to the PC. My friend Pariah was really into them and had gotten me hooked. This was back in the AOL version 1.0 days just to give you an indication. If it weren't for him you probably wouldn't be reading the blog right now since he was what lit the proverbial geek fire for me. I became obsessed with computers and the fledgling internet. The first PC I had ever owned was a Packard Bell computer. It had a 65 Mhz processor 32 megs or ram and CD-Rom ( living la Vida loca) it had a 16 k video card in it and on board sound. Let us not forget the 13 inch monitor. I thought I had it all. Well the proc was a 386 sx so it had no math co processor not good for gaming and the hard drive which was a smaller than a CDR couldn't hold to much data as the years went on. Well I learned quickly that the new hobby I had adopted was not a cheap one. The first thing I added was a new Hard drive a whopping 100 Meg hard drive and a new video card from 3dfx ( remember them??) The cycle continued for a while with the old Packard Bell which by the way I hated the damn thing always crashed or locked up on me to where I would have to power it down and restart it only to have the dreaded blue screen of death or have scan disk start running which would take a total of 2 hours to finish. Well then I started to read manual and computer magazines and started dabbling in the dark arts. Granted now I can build a machine in less than 15 minutes or less minus programming but hey back in the day a simple HD change would take me 30 minutes because I was afraid I would screw something up. Anyway where the hell am I going with this post????????? Damn train of thought left the fucking station with out me again.
Ahhh yes Don't do drugs......... No that's not it ummm Please ware you seat belts..... No don't be a cock blocker no that ain't it either shit. oh yeah duh I should have just scrolled up some.
This perpetual upgrade cycle has lasted for the last 14 years and pretty soon it is upgrade time once again New processor dual core of course new video card ( preferably one with dual video cards SLI) 4 SATA 200 gig hds in a raid configuration with 2 gigs of ram and a dual layered DVD burner. Oh and if possible water cooling I am tired of the noisy ass fans in my PC. And what will I use all that power and storage for?
Develop a cure for cancer nope
Write an Emmy award winning movie script. Doubt it
Create a program to defeat piracy. Yeah right
devote unused processor cycles to the SETI program fat chance
Download porn ? BINGO
Wired Wizard
I am trying to see things from your point of view but there is no way I can get my head up my ass.
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| posted by Wired Wizard @ 1:42 AM |
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