| In The News |
|
. |
| Work Safe |
|
|
| NSFW |
|
|
| Today In History |
|
|
| Quote Of The Day |
|
|
|
| No Rest for the Wicked |
| Tuesday, May 24, 2005 |
Ol Redneck Ho
Quick Question do you think her mama is proud of her?
Chances are if she is from Polk County where I live not only is this a perfectly fine picture of some rednecks daughter but it's probably hung right over the TV set next to the picture of her stripper mom and toothless dad.
I can see the conversations now.
We are just so proud of our little Bobbie Lee she's the first one to graduate from 9th grade and has a steady job over at the Circle K ( local convince store ) and her boyfriend Bubba only has 5 more months till he's out of prison and they can be a happy family once again.
I just don't get it. Not that she's a bad looking ho mind you ( trust me I have seen worse up at Wal-Mart) but for fucks sake did you have to look like such a piece of trash while showing us the goods?
And because I care here are some redneck jokes just for good measure.
How can you tell a rich redneck from a poor redneck?
The rich redneck has two cars up on blocks in the yard.
Five rednecks drowned in the Ohio river last week. They were trying to dig a basement in the bottom of their houseboat.
Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery?
The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
How can you tell if a Texas redneck is married?
There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his pickup truck.
How many rednecks does it take to eat a 'possum?
Two. One to eat, and one to watch out for traffic.
Who was the first redneck in the Bible?
Cain because he married his sister.
What does a redneck call hitting a deer at 65 mph?
Fast food.
What do you call the sweat produced when two rednecks are having sex?
Relative humidity.
NASCAR:
Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks
Question: How do you circumcise a redneck?
Answer: Kick his sister in the jaw.
Question: What is the redneck definition of sexual maturity?
Answer: An eight year old girl who can run faster than her brothers.
Question: What's the redneck motto for sexual maturity?
Answer: After eight it's too late.
Question: What's the difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern fairy tale?
Answer: A northern fairy tale begins with, "Once upon a time. . . " A southern fairy tale begins with, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this . . . "
Question: What does a redneck chick say after sex?
Answer: Get off me daddy, your crushing my smokes!
Question: What does a redneck divorce and a tornado have in common?
Answer: One way or the other someone is losing their trailer!
Question: Why do they throw shit on the walls at redneck weddings?
Answer: To keep the flies off the bride!
Question: How long does it takes a redneck to eat road kill?
Answer: It depends on how heavy the traffic is.
Question: What do you call the sight of a plumber under the sink with his pants creeping down, exposing his crack?
Answer: Redneck Cleavage.
Jokes Swiped from this link right here
Well thats my redneck stuff for today.
Wired Wizard.
If a redneck divorces his wife are they still considered brother and sister? |
posted by Wired Wizard @ 1:59 AM   |
|
|
|
|
|
" 
