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| Wal-Mart Phone Calls. |
| Sunday, January 16, 2005 |
As fate would have it our home phone number is one digit off from Wal-mart, we probably get about 30 calls per week for Wal-mart and at all hours of the day and night so it is a bit frustrating.
Some people have been known to call 3 to 4 times in a row absolutely sure that they have the right number and couldn't have possibly dialed it wrong.
On one such occasion the woman called the house 3 times in a row looking for a gift that she had no luck finding anywhere else. Well the 3rd time the phone rang I answered thank you for calling your North Lakeland Wal-Mart this is ( insert name here)
The lady replied Oh thank God I finally got the number. Well she told me her laments about not finding her perspective gift. I asked the woman to please hold for a moment while I checked our stock room ( At that point I went to the bathroom got a SKU number off a box of condoms) Well I told the woman on the other end of the line that we in fact did have what she was looking for and to sweeten the pot I told her that the item was on sale on top of that. I gave her the SKU number to boot so that all she had to do was give an employee the SKU number and save some time as well. She thanked me over and over and told me that she was on her way right up to Wal-mart,and eventually hung up the phone. I jumped off the couch and ran to my room to get dressed. My mom asked me what I was doing and I told her I had to go to Wal-mart to see something and hopped in the car and drove up to Wal-Mart. I walked around for a while and sure enough I heard a woman yelling at the top of her lungs saying I do not need or want a box of condoms I had requested something totally different I even called ahead to make sure the item was in stock and I was given this SKU number and told to come up and pick up my item. She must have argued with the walmart associate for about 10 minutes the whole time I am just an isle over laughing to myself to the point where I almost started crying because I could barely hold back the laughter. Finally a manager came over to our poor desperate woman holding a box of assorted condoms wondering where the mistake was made. Comfortable in the knowledge that I had done my evil deed for the day I left and went home laughing my ass off the whole time. So the moral of the story is don't fucking call my house expecting Wal-Mart and when it suddenly does become walmart be carefully it just might not be.
Wal-Mart part 2.
On several occasions I have had to drive up to walmart in a hurry just to find out what happens to my victims when I send them on wild goose chases. Another such incident was when a woman called my house at 2am looking for her husband. She called only 2 but since it was late night I decided to mess with this poor individual. Once again my devils made their presence known. I answered the phone. Hello thank you for calling your north Lakeland Wal-mart this is ( insert Name here )how many I help you. The woman asked if she could be connected to the lighting department where her husband worked, I said please hold, I pressed a button on the phone to make it sound like it had clicked over and said This is ( insert name ) Lighting department.... The whole time making my voice a bit deeper and changing my accent. She asked is (husbands name) there??? I said please hold and let me check. I came back a few seconds later and told her that he left with his girlfriend to go have lunch and that he should be back within a few minutes. The woman just said oh really and hung up. I knew what would happen so I got dressed and took off to walmart for a late night soap opera. I walked in and headed for the bathroom supplies which is right next to the lighting department and began to browse the items on each peg and waiting for the fireworks to start. Just as I had given up all hope I turned to my right and saw a woman stomping by calling her husband by name in a pretty pissed off voice. Now I can't say that what followed was pretty but I will try to remember what happened as best as possible but I know that it won't be verbatim.
She finally found her husband and began to cursing him up one side and down the other the whole time maintaing his innocence and that he was the only one in the department at that hour and the phone had not rung. She continued to yell at him and telling him that he promised that he would not cheat on her again and that she belived his sorry ass and that she couldn't belive that she belived his lies and that it was over and that she was going to her mothers house. Strangely enough the guy actually confessed that he had been cheating on her but still maintained his innocence for that evening that he had been at work and had not taken a break and that she had to belive him... All I heard was a sharp smacking sound and her walking off. I went to the next isle and asked the guy for some lightbulbs and went on my way. Strange how shit like that works isn't it ?? So once again if your in Lakeland and your calling Wal-Mart be afraid be very afraid you might get ME.......
Wired Wizard |
posted by Wired Wizard @ 4:06 PM   |
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