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| Introducing Kari |
| Sunday, January 16, 2005 |
My friend Kari is a really funny individual whom I have known for at least 6 years now. We met on ICQ back in the day when it was reserved for people who were too cool for AIM. I struck up a converstaion with her and the rest is as they say History. So without further hesitation here are a few of Kari's stories a really good read if I do say so myself.
Ok let’s see – most of my stories I can think of right now are stories about my mom. They’re funny to me and to the people in our family, probably just because we all know my mom. That or their “you had to be there” kinda things. There’s hundreds of “mom stories” but will just send you a couple for now.
A little background. My mom is very very reserved, polite, very religious type woman. She does not believe in swearing, (I got my mouth washed out with soap so many times growing up I’m surprised I didn’t go to the bathroom and find a bar of soap) and she absolutely hates alcohol, and will not even allow it to be in her house. Even now all us kids are between 28-43 and we still don’t dare go to her house with even a hint of any alcohol on us, even wine is forbid. I think she’s still living in the 50’s and thinks she is June Cleaver. Although she is a brunette, we all swear that she is a blonde, and dies her hair dark so no one will know. She has 6 kids & a husband, all with a healthy appetite for humor (some of us more twisted & sarcastic then others, but we all tend to be able to see the lighter side, joke around and not take everything so seriously). But not my mom she is serious 24/7/365. Too her, everything is serious.
My mom has a “knack” for saying and doing stupid things on a regular basis. Not that she does them intentionally, but she does them just the same.
Growing up in the middle of the mid west our parents would take us on vacations every summer too 3 main places and we would rotate from year to year between Denver – Chicago – Ozarks (Arkansas) all within a day’s drive of our home.
On one particularly memorable trip out to Denver aka Rocky Mtn’s we were all blessed with my mom’s “knack” throughout the entire trip. For those of you who are familiar with Denver – it was about 11am and we were driving up Pikes Peak to the Mile High. My dad pulls over at one of those little - let’s see if we can fall off the mountain - observation sites where you pull your car over and all that is keeping you from falling down 10,000 feet is a little grey bar. We all get out of the car and are looking out over the gorgeous snowy mountain tops (yes the Rockies are “real” mountains that have snow all year long, even in July) when my mom (who is looking down over the mountain side while standing on the edge of the mountain up against the bar that is there to keep people from falling off the mountain (ya right) suddenly looks down over the bar looks up at my dad and says…
“Whew…I’m so dizzy (pause for about 3 seconds) so, do you want me to drive down the mountain?”
We all looked at her for what must have been a minute or 2 without saying anything, we all were looking at her & each other with the “wtf” look on our faces, then we all cracked up laughing. My mom – as usual – had no idea she had just done it again.
On one of our trips to Chi-town I must have been probably 17 I think I was a senior in HS that summer and rather full of “attitude” as I love going to Chicago, it’s an awesome city, but hated the fact that I was there with my parents on a “family vacation”. I was much too old to be seen in public with my parents – especially in Chi-town.
We arrived at our rather fancy hotel to check in, my mom and dad had been arguing about something for the last hour in the car, not really sure anymore what it was, but my dad was in a fairly sarcastic mood when we arrived. For those of us old enough to remember the 80’s there was an appliance called an “air pot”. I swear to God, my mom would not go in the car for more than an hour with out her trusted air pot (coffee).
So anyway – my dad had checked us into the hotel, we parked and we were all carrying our stuff through the lobby of the hotel, with all the other hotel guests and employees, when my mom turns around and asks my dad very loudly IN the lobby for 30-40 people to hear …“Orv, did you bring the pot?” My dad – without missing a beat promptly replied – “No, but I brought the pipe!”
Needless to say, my mom, caught again with that dumb founded deer in the headlight look on her face until she thought about it, turned bright red, and practically ran to our room.
For the next 2 days, my little sister and I swear there were bell hops and management hanging around our rooms, thinking we were a bunch of druggies or something. Of course it was the mid 80’s. And the bell hops were cute, so not all was lost :)
I can’t remember who told me this story, but it takes place in a NYC subway. This guy was sitting in one of the seats, sitting on a newspaper. Another passenger standing near by asked the seated guy if he was reading that newspaper. The guy who was seated just looked at the 2nd guy with a look like “what are you some kinda idiot? But the guy didn’t say a word. But the next time it happened to him, he was ready. With classic NY attitude he said “yes” stood up, turned the page, and sat back down.
I love that story.
Once again thanks to Kari for sending in those Stories. Keep em comming DW :)
Stories written by Kari McCarty. Posted by Wired Wizard.
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posted by Wired Wizard @ 3:26 PM   |
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